Sunday, November 4, 2007

On Motherhood

In a moment of both temporary insanity and utter devotion to my son I decided to hand make part of his Halloween costume. He wanted to be a fireman, at least until his actual fireman costume was being made and then he decided he wanted to be a garbage man. "Next year," I said.

A friend of ours lent us the suit, another friend lent us the hat and I was to make the truck out a cardboard box. As Halloween approached I started to worry that I didn't really know what to do and Jove would be haunted by appearing before all of his little pre-school friends in a pretty crappy piece of artwork. But my mom saved the day. She drew the firetruck outline onto the box while she was visiting. All I would have to do would be paint it and add some interesting details: dvd wheels, rubber tubing for hoses, suspenders so he could wear it, etc.
After at least ten hours of work, it was finished and I was quite proud of his firetruck. Papa brought home a flashing bicycle light and his costume was now done. Jove loved it and he had such a great time wearing it. During some of those late night painting sessions I vowed to never, ever take on such a task again.
Then, when he was wearing it I realized that the whole experience was really a metaphor of motherhood for me. The self-sacrifice of this project is what mothers do all day, every day. The emotional roller coaster I was on during the project (smiles, near anxiety attacks, sleep deprivation, gratitude) is representative of feelings I have all of the time. Luckily, my daily life is filled with a lot more smiles and gratitude and only minor anxiety and sleep deprivation. I also realized that although Halloween only comes once I year, the amount of both actual work and emotional work I will be doing as a mother has only begun.
I also see my mother in a new light. I think of all of the projects, costumes and worry my mom went through to take care of us. She's not even completely off duty now; she came to visit us and see the grandkids and I ask her, "will you draw Jove's firetruck for his Halloween costume?" "Sure, honey," she says. Here's to mothers everywhere. Yay, moms!!


sunnywave said...

yay moms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kudos to you and kisses to sweet jove!!!! happy halloween

Nanimal said...

ahhhhhh, what a rockin' post. And holy moly, here's to his truck - Frog squeeled when he saw the picture, what an awesome Mama!

Xirey said...

Jove looked so cute for Halloween....and a round of a applause to us moms... not an easy job but a lovely xirey