Sunday, January 2, 2011

gratitude




As we celebrate this new year, I feel incredibly grateful for the love of my family and all of our blessings. This year has been momentous and very difficult at times. The plan was to get our house ready to sell and move, which meant that a lot of our year was spent cleaning up, working what felt like three jobs and doing paperwork. It should all be over very soon and we are so happy about the new community and home we are moving into.
The hardest moments this year were the times that both of our children had to be in the hospital, Miranda for surgery and Jove after a seizure at school. It felt as if time stopped and my heart was floating outside my body until we knew they were okay. These glimpses into the life of having a sick child have humbled me. On the ride home from taking Jove for follow up tests, I listened to an NPR story of a mother in Florida that had a child in a vegetative state that was going to lose benefits for her child because of health care policy changes. I felt overwhelmed with sympathy for her and realized that along with the great joy our children bring us, being a parent makes us emotionally raw and vulnerable in a way that nothing else does. I am no longer carefree. I am responsible for other people. Little ones...

I really did not intend this post to be a tearjerker (for me).

In the midst of the craziness of packing up our house, a few things have grounded us as a family. Good stories, making art and dancing have kept us smiling and sane as we work. I love reading classic children's literature to Jove: seeing him fall in love with a great story and myself reading stories for the first time that have shaped our culture. We just finished the "Wizard of Oz" a week ago and watched the movie and then we read the original Nutcracker by E.T.A. Hoffman and we saw a local ballet production.
I have actually been surprised at the level of normalcy our life has retained during the whole packing progress. Miranda and Jove are my two little gurus who constantly bring me back to the present moment and remind me that the only thing that really matters is love, everything else can wait.



From our family to yours, wishing you all a joyous and love-filled 2011.

7 comments:

heathre said...

happy new year! love you all! here's to a fabulous 2011.

heathre said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nanimal said...

muah! love you

the crucible said...

I've been thinking of this quote, "Vulnerability is absolutely at the core of fear, and anxiety, and shame, and very difficult emotions that we all experience. But vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, of love, of belonging, of creativity, of faith." I'm so glad the Littles are doing better and that all has turned out well. Here's to an auspicious 2011!

shirley said...

Your blog brought tears to my eyes... It is truly scary when your children are not well. You don't have control. You have become a real parent.Worrys and all. Now you understand where Dad and I were coming from with our worrys. and it never ends. You are always a parent, and it is the greatest job in the world. Happy 2011.

sunnywave said...

xoxox happy 2011 to you, carmen! love to you and your family!

sunnywave said...

p.s. and congratulations on the move!!!!!!!!!!!!!! may 2011 be joyful, full of health and laughter, and prosperous for you!