decisions

We have decided not to sell our house and move until after I go back to work. I feel relieved. At least my attic is cleaned out now.

Miranda's new adventures

As Miranda passed the one year mark, her interest in being fed pureed food waned tremendously. She wants to feed herself and eat what we are eating. I usually try to limit this messiness to dinner, giving her less messy fruit, cereal and veggies during the day. She loves rice and beans, eats tempeh and tofu and likes her food well seasoned. She does a good job of getting a lot of food into her mouth until she is full and then she spreads it everywhere: hair, tray, floor, face... which leads to this.
















In true younger sibling fashion, she wants to do what Jove is doing. Jove is not always so thrilled about this. Yesterday she checked out one of his paintings. Certain activities have become table top activities for Jove or things we do when Miranda naps.

I am so much busier now that Miranda moves around and pulls up. When you don't see a blog post for awhile, know that I am just trying to keep both babes safe, happy, well fed and relatively clean. Its sounds much easier than it is.

Changes

Two things have been on my mind lately that have reinforced for me the transience of life's routines and that resisting this will only make me dwell on what I don't have and not on what I do have.

I am part of an absolutely amazing mothers' group that has been such a source of friendship and inspiration for my children and I. I feel more rooted right now than I have since I left my parent's home for college. Recently, one of my close friends moved to a far suburb of the city and I see her and her kids much less than we used to. Her son is a great friend of Jove's and they seem to miraculously exist on the same wavelength of boyhood. I miss being with her (and her sons) and it has made me realize that I have not usually been the one that sticks around, is left behind; I am usually the one who leaves.

My closest friend here in New York is also planning on moving and I am keeping my fingers that she doesn't go far. She is the first friend I made when I moved here and we have gone through early motherhood together. Another close friend is moving to Long Island and Jupiter and I are planning on moving to an area in the complete opposite direction and I can't help but wonder how often I can see her and her family once we have both moved. This past year at home with my kids and my moms' group has been magical and I feel a little melancholy that things are changing as people move, kids get older and go to school, etc.

I keep reminding myself of how grateful I am and I truly am happy to have my healthy family and great friends.

Miranda went on a mini-nursing strike this past weekend. It has resolved itself and she is back on the boob (YAY!), but it made me very sad while it was going on and it made me just think about how transient parenting is in general. I don't know if it's just me (it can't be), but motherhood has turned me into a total sap. I feel like Jove is so different than he was last year and I just want to hold him close, at this stage, but that isn't possible. I try not to think about the fact that some day my kids won't want me to smother them with hugs, kisses and tickling. Hopefully, they will be the only teenagers that want to be tucked in and hug me when they come from school. See, I'm a sap.